Lessons from ‘You’ve Reached Sam’

By Jaime Babiera

I wasted no time after I finished reading the last chapter of ‘What If It’s Us.’ Immediately, I dashed towards my bookshelf and grabbed my freshly arrived copy of Dustin Thao’s ‘You’ve Reached Sam.’ I started reading it and subsequently finished the entire book the day after. I won’t go into particular details because I don’t want this column to spoil anything. However, allow me to share a few lessons I have personally learned from this novel.

First, grief has different faces. It is not necessarily limited to crying, wailing, screaming, sobbing, and the like. Some people find comfort in silence during this trying time. Others prefer to disconnect from the rest of the world while figuring out how to get by. Just because someone is not shedding any tears doesn’t mean they are not hurting at all. Always keep in mind that each one of us processes grief and loss distinctively, just like we experience other emotions in a variety of ways.

Second, moving on is more complicated than simply letting go. After reading the book, I have realized that it actually goes beyond leaving the past behind and taking a step forward. In between, we need to understand the pain we feel and somehow make a deep connection with it until we learn eventually to accept the situation and become a lot more capable of starting all over again.

Third and last, the benefits of us living forward truly go both ways. In one of the last few chapters of the book, Yuri mentions that moving on is hard not only for us but also for our dear departed. I strongly agree with her. Thus, I have come to realize that we should find a way to send them a clear message saying we’re fine out here and they can now go to a better place without worrying about us. May it be in the form of memory lanterns or fervent prayers, I believe this is essential to our grieving process.

Would I recommend this book? Of course, yes. For me, reading You’ve Reached Sam is a wonderful experience. Sure. To a certain degree, the book follows a linear storyline without some sort of surprises or jaw-dropping turns of events. I understand if some of you find it unexciting at some point. But I think the novel is intentionally written that way for us to get away from unnecessary distractions and focus more on the raw emotions and the actual messages that the author intends to share. Therefore, I would say that You’ve Reached Sam is indeed worth a shot.

Email: jaime.babiera@yahoo.com / X: @jaimebabiera