By Hip Mama
Tita used to be synonymous with Aunt until hilarious tweets from The Titas of Manila, gave the term a whole new meaning – spawning books and articles in racy magazines like Cosmopolitan; even inspiring a limited comedy series aired over ABS-CBN. Now here comes the Feelennial – not Gen X but millennials at heart adulting to the next life stage without losing sassiness. After all, except for what the mirror dares to mock us with, we feel as sharp, as vain, as spritely, and as desperately seeking good buys as we did when Efficascent Oil was not yet our scent of choice.
“Feelennials” like me who had been bonafide Titas for much longer somewhat struggle with the disparity between how others see us and how we feel about aging and fitting in. We totally get it, but still squirm at the thought of being called Lola, Granny or Mamita and get super annoyed when the lady at the supermarket asks for our senior card (not quite there yet!). To our mind, grandmas are those are sweet, bespectacled ladies (not us) smelling faintly of rose water who lead charmed lives, punctuated by occasional mah-jong sessions, lively discussion of obits with peers, and tete-a-tetes with neighbors sharing gardening tips, comparing health notes and a indulging in bit of harmless gossip.
After retiring from writing columns and producing cable shows that focused on business, education, and leisure, I woke-up realizing that my kind was sort of blending into the background. So with the hope that my muses Gilda Cordero-Fernando, Jullie Yap-Daza, and Barbara Gonzales, quintessential modern, daring Filipinas who wrote with sense, elegance, and wit can inspire me with the same, humor me as we dissect life as we know it today. It is a world that unfurls with furious speed; one that brings so many challenges, opportunities, and dangers that can be overwhelming or rewarding, depending on how you view it. Throw in a bit of Martha Stewart, Jane Fonda, and Sylvia Reynoso-Gala – women of style with bold outlooks who excelled in their fields to keep the read just a bit more interesting.
So what is it like to be a Feelennial?
#1 You Secretly Relate to Barry Manilow songs
Barry who? If you don’t know him, skip to #2. Barry M. was what mixed tapes were all about in the 70’s. You want “hugot lines”, you got it! Songs so full of angst that make you want to fall in love and suffer heartbreak – just to be able to savor the bittersweet moments of stupid love. The lyrics and melodies sort of stick in your head past Madonna, Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga like an LSS that lasted decades.
#2 You Stalk Your Children in Social Media While Seemingly Nonchalant
Remember when you didn’t know whether to pick-up your toddler immediately after a fall or wait and see if she could dust herself off and get-up, one knee at a time on her own steam? Fast forward decades after and you are furtively looking for tell-tale signs of a boyfriend lurking somewhere on your daughter’s IG posts. Could it be that handsome guy hovering? Oh, no -please not that one, he’s going to break her heart! Go for that one who has puppy dog eyes and the only one not attached to a beer can. Turns out the hunk prettier than your daughter is gay and the other one just stepped out of rehab. Meanwhile, the daughter is fine, fancy-free, and pretending that she is unaware of your paranoia.
#3 We are Gurus – Unsolicited Advice is Our Forte’
We know everything. Enough said.
#4 We Aren’t Embarrassed With Driving Hard Bargains
Feelennials grew up wearing Spartans, the generic rubber slipper (tsinelas) that freed your toes from the confines of platforms and clogs. They were inexpensive and non-descript so it behooves you why Havaiannas cost over a thousand. Hmm and they have even personalized those (upscaled to beach sandals now) with country flags and blings. Imagine something that we used to kick cans with, throw at cans in a game of “tumbang preso” now come in limited editions sold in the swankiest shops! Are they exorbitantly priced because they are made from the sap of endangered rubber trees?
#5 We Have Gone Full Circle From Wearing Branded Fakes to Finding our Own Style,
Signature or Not!
One of the pleasures of growing older and wiser is that we have grown comfortable in our own skin. Caring about brands ceased as we opted to hunt for real value instead. Feelennials buck trends and are confident enough to allow their own unique style to express their authentic personas. The bonus is that being older than most, the slightest lift from our arched eyebrow is enough to silence any dissenting opinion.
# 6 We Love Poring Over Glossies and But Hate the Models
Models are airbrushed and Photoshopped that’s why they are beyond perfect. We on the other hand have Botox and cam filters – cheating is such a great leveller!
# 7 We Finally Know How to Listen Without Judgment
That’s _______not entirely true. We have curbed our tendency to say “I told you so” but can fail bigtime in our attempt. But having been there and done that – we’ve become more forgiving of frailties. We’ve learned the art of companionable silence, where we are just a quiet presence from whom our loved ones can draw comfort when they are stressed or pushed into a corner (even if it’s their own doing).
# 8 We are Very Driven and Take Pride in Re-inventing Ourselves in our Career and
Personal Life
Superwoman isn’t real, but we try to balance it all; trying to perform well whatever the circumstances. Because our parents were disciplinarians who grew up in tougher times, we were raised with a code where mediocre was simply not acceptable. Over the years, there were instances when we fell flat on our faces because we set the bar too high on what we set out to achieve. Our smart choices in later years stemmed from learning hard lessons along the way.Today, we’ve come to terms with the thought that perfection is a myth and it’s okay not to be okay. That being said, feelennials are seemingly more flexible than those belonging to past generations and more persistent than the younger ones. We have a certain “stick-to-it attitude”, hardiness, and versatility that allow us to grow from every meandering. We are awesome that way!
# 9 Puppies, Gardens, and Shopping Take the Edge Off Aging
We’ve had kids, raised husbands, flexed brains, juggled finances, and fixed pretty much everything from broken pipes to crushed hearts! Aging is very stressful – visits to the docs are no fun and the thought that we’ve already started the countdown to being a creaking gate is enough to give us panic attacks. What better way to regain zen than to “smell the roses (before we forget how they smell) ” our own way? For fitness enthusiasts, this could be yoga or zumba. For others, it could be painting, baking or dancing – simply put, there’s no better time to follow your bliss!
For this feelennial, raising puppies is rewarding and extremely fun. Their faces remind me of my babies when they were at their cutest. Choosing puppy food brings me back to my new-mom moments – the gamut of choices and nutritional labels can be more confusing than homing in on the Gerber’s variant that my baby won’t spit out. BUT, I don’t have to worry about school, bullying, prom, and bad dates!
Gardening on the other hand, gets you grounded and grateful – it’s like seeing God in every bloom, every seed, every fruit, and ultimately, every withering. Tending a garden teaches patience, hope, and acceptance. Walking through scented paths amidst a colorful background of flowers is invigorating. Listening to the wind rustling through the leaves while watching butterflies and bees dancing their way through the branches is very relaxing. Just being still, completely in the moment, is almost surreal when you think that what lies outside the walls is unpredictable mayhem. Millennials also love gardens – they take countless selfies, even bringing along drones, extra lighting, lenses, and filters whereas feelennials would rather eat the greens (organically grown?) or pluck the flowers to sit on a vase back home.
And let’s talk about shopping.The more we work for the money, the more important the word S-A-L-E becomes. It is no sheer coincidence that that very word is the first one my two daughters learned to spell. Malls are my adult Disneyland, especially since window shopping is free. When I was a child, the small mom and pop store right below my room was a source of delight – it sold bubble gum, native candy, and drinks that were so colored, it probably dyed my intestines a lovely shade of pink. As I got older, Divisoria and Greenhills were my jaunts of choice. Now, it’s just malls and S & R – or wherever there’s a CCTV doing nanny duties for a distracted mom and a hyperactive teen. And, wait, there’s more! Online shopping has made product selection convenient and gives you more than a fair chance of actually loving the product you ordered! It’s so popular that it has replaced mah-jong as a favorite form of recreation among the ladies in my family. There’s a difference on how millennials react to a bad buy online – they’ll want their money back ASAP and will bash the seller in reviews. We feelennials would rather gift-wrap our purchases in preparation for Christmas! See – waste not, want not!!!
#10 You are definitely feelennial if your 30-something closet finds are the current rage
Don’t you notice how you’ve become so “with it” lately? After going through years where your ears were assaulted by rap, metal, and punk, revival music is now the rage. Finally, I can understand the lyrics and yes, it has a melody I can hum to! There are some changes – it is usually more acoustic and sung several octaves higher (the better to showcase the singer’s prowess) but definitely a welcome comeback!
The rehash isn’t limited to music. Style icons are now channeling the fashionable trendsetters of the past with a collage of the cool, the rustic, and the minimalist. In short, the very description of your closet contents which had been in hibernation until resurrected for the great comeback! And those shoes – finally, you can strut in your Famolares again. These Italian leather babies look a lot better than atrociously-priced lookalikes. Cross your fingers that the leather has not peeled-off or that the soles are not crumbling. In fact, if you look closely at the latest Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo, they’re not that different from the fancier stilettos you bought when SM was still Shoe Mart!
The big difference between blogging, vlogging, going on TV, and writing a column in a newspaper is that the latter is something you can snip and keep. It is my hope (and that of the Daily Guardian) to enlighten, offer an alternative outlook, and earn a few smiles with each column – cheers to a fiercer outlook and a kinder heart!
Your thoughts? Email me at: indaydocs@yahoo.com .
Photo credits:
Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels
Pixabay__
