By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo
This is from a TED talk given by Bethany Butzer. Bethany is a very accomplished individual since primary school up until she acquired her doctorate. She would always push herself very hard to accomplish her goals such as getting honors in high school, college and graduate studies but would end up getting sick in the process. She concluded overall that although she got what she wanted, but sacrificing her health in the process makes the journey tiring and lacking meaning. She realized that what she was really after was to be honored with her accomplishments, and it was not a values-based goal. And that pushing herself to the limit to the point of getting sick was dictated by pride and not for trying to accomplish a goal that is meaningful for her.
How do we make a values-based goal? It’s when we dig deep into our hearts and find out (and from others too) what is really good and truly valuable for us. Many would think that values are based on a personal discernment of what is valuable to each one of us. That whatever you get attracted to and would seem to make you happy or some would say the “follow your heart” principle then that should be the basis of your goals. But values are something objective not subjective. That’s why Bethany made the mistake of making the goal of being honored for her accomplishments as the valuable thing for her.
Values is something outside of us as a standard for a right goal or behavior. Values is often times confused with virtues. They are more or less the same. In my opinion virtues are “values in action”. It’s when we apply values in real that they become virtues. Examples of values are humility, honesty, loyalty, generosity, detachment from money and material goods, chastity, compassion, charity, fairness, justice, prudence, etc. Values are based on human nature or what is good for us as humans. Values is not just “following your heart” but “doing the right thing”. It is derived from the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes, that’s why it is objective and not subjective. It is not something coming from within us but from our Creator who knows what is best for us. Left to our own devices, we can easily make mistakes because of original sin (whose effect is proneness to sin), the sin that we inherited from Adam and Eve although it got erased during Baptism but its effects remain in us.
The benefits of making a values-based goal or decision will only come to light when we get into some difficulty or trouble in trying to achieve that goal, because it would give us the inspiration and the morale boost to overcome any obstacle. Another benefit is that work or effort in achieving our goal becomes natural and free flowing. As Bethany Betzer would say in her talk, it’s like rowing your boat with the flow of the current instead of going against it. And lastly, it makes us enjoy the journey as well as the destination in accomplishing our goals.
People who don’t make values-based goals are always in a hurry in carrying out their goals because they want to prove something to the world, but end up getting burned out. In contrast, people who based their goals on values are at ease because it is not a goal just for themselves but for the “right thing” as well as for God and neighbor. The analogy is likened to one’s love life or marriage. It’s like being with the “right one” or the “chosen one” in your life. You would know he or she is the chosen one for you because you feel very much at ease, relaxed or you can just be yourself and need not pretend or try hard to appear pleasing to that person.
