By Engr. Carlos Cornejo
The world sees love as the work of the flesh or of human origin but true love as the saints would affirm it is the work of the Holy Spirit. It is the highest form of love and it is called the Theological Virtue of Charity.
Romantic love which is the love between lovers that becomes marital love or love between husband and wife later on when they get married, is under or inferior to this love. The same thing with the other kinds of love, such as the love between two friends or the love we have for animals. They should be subordinated to this love. The Theological Virtue of Charity is love of God.
Charity requires of us to practice the other kinds of love by means of this love, or we ought to love neighbor, animals and things because of our love for God. In other words, all other loves should pass through our love of God. And thus, we should love our fellow humans for the sake of our love for God.
That’s why Christ said, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40) God wants it this way so that all our other loves will be put into order, and love God above all. “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40) When Christ said, “the second is like it” it exactly means loving others for the sake of our love for God.
When we love people, animals and things because of our love for God those earthly loves are transformed, elevated and perfected by charity. We would now love animals not just for the sake of loving them but because they are also God’s creatures.
We would now love things such as money, houses, cars, gadgets, etc. in a proper way by not getting attached to them and use them also to help others. And most importantly we would now love fellow humans as we would love ourselves.
Romantic love which is the love between two persons in a relationship, when it is made to pass through the love of God, makes the romantic relationship more supernatural, more intimate, with more self-giving rather than self-seeking between the two parties.
There would now be more understanding of each other’s defects, more patience, more caring and thoughtfulness for the needs of the partner, and these will all redound to a happier relationship. For God’s grace elevates nature.
I would always tell my young audience when I give a talk on “Love, Courtship and Marriage” that if you put love of God into your romantic relationship it becomes ten times sweeter and happier because of grace. There’s that special intimacy in the relationship because of God’s blessing.
Charity or love of God is not based on feelings or emotions or a personal subjective conviction. Feelings and emotions are things we cannot control. When God commanded us to love Him above all things, He is not asking us to have nice feelings but to show it through good works and obey His commandments. “If you love me, obey my commandments.” (John 14:15)
True love or charity are commitments and decisions. When you commit to do something, you do it whether you feel good or not. Falling in love with someone is easy (feelings) but staying in love (commitment) is hard. That’s why the best proof of love is to sacrifice yourself for someone. Many people make this mistake of thinking that love is all about intense romantic feelings when they get married.
But nice feelings fade over time. As couples mature in their married life, they should replace those pleasurable feelings with true love. And true love is all about sacrifice or choosing to always do the right thing for your partner.
