‘Jerry The Tease’

By Francis Allan L. Angelo

In a turn of events that is a staple in the labyrinth of local politics, Mayor Jerry Treñas has decided to tease the public with a riveting cliffhanger about his future career plans.

Amidst an atmosphere thick with suspense, he boldly proclaimed his intent to run in the 2025 elections, leaving everyone on the edge of their seats… only to follow up with absolutely nothing concrete.

It’s a political plot twist worthy of the finest telenovelas. With a masterstroke of vagueness, he has managed to turn the mundane act of declaring a candidacy into a guessing game, leaving constituents to speculate wildly.

Could he be aiming for a seat so he can pass on his post to a kin? As for aligning with his current team, he artfully pirouettes around the question.

With the dexterity of a seasoned dancer, he sidesteps inquiries about his political alliances, his children’s ambitions, and even the prospects of his executive assistant-turned-nephew, transforming the press briefing into a showcase of political ballet.

And just when you thought he might have national aspirations, he deftly executes a narrative somersault, assuring us that he lacks the particular… let’s call them “Padilla-esque” talents needed for the Senate.

Instead, Treñas will stick to local politics, where the stakes are as high as the floodwaters in rainy season, and the drama is just as unpredictable.

In a city where even the whispers of the First Family cause a stir, Treñas assures us that the Marcoses won’t be setting their political GPS for Iloilo – not that he’s one to gossip, of course.

And so, we wait with bated breath for the next installment of “As Iloilo Turns,” coming to you live this October, where the only thing certain is uncertainty itself. Stay tuned, folks!

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The Small Town Lottery in Iloilo has folded, not with a bang, but with a bureaucratic whimper over violations of thrilling-sounding ‘Section 26’.

The PCSO, steered by General Manager Melquiades Robles, declared “enough is enough” as 7 Aces Games and Amusement Corporation apparently couldn’t keep up with the equally thrilling ‘Guaranteed Minimum Monthly Retail Receipt’ (legalized lagay?).

With the STL gone, the province’s gamblers are forced to turn to the clandestine thrill of ‘bookies’, under the alleged leadership of a former STL mastermind and a retired officer of the law. Rumors suggest these new gaming gurus have the ‘blessings from above’, a celestial nod that remains shrouded in mystery.

Brigadier General Jack Wanky, however, is having none of it, charging his troops with the crusade against these illegal betting bonanzas.

Despite the whispers of divine endorsement, Wanky insists the law is the law, illegal is illegal, and the Iloilo Police Provincial Office’s modest three anti-illegal gambling operations (that’s cute) are just the start of a crackdown.

Who knew that the most action-packed event in Iloilo wouldn’t be a high-speed car chase, but a ledger chase, with the fate of the gambling world hanging in the balance?

Abangan!