By Fr. Roy Cimagala
WE need to realize more deeply that we are in constant need for repentance and conversion. We should never take this need for granted. It is not meant to make our life look gloomy all the time. Rather, it is meant to make us to be truly realistic about our delicate condition here on earth and, hence, to be truly hopeful and happy of our assured redemption by Christ.
We are reminded of this need when in the gospel, Christ reproached the towns where most of his mighty deeds had been done since they had not repented. “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida!” he said. “For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would long ago have repented in sackcloth and ashes.” (cfr. Mt 11,20-24)
We should always feel the need for conversion. The mark of true saints is precisely this hunger and thirst for repentance and conversion. Whatever good they did humbled them instead of leaving them proud. They knew who and what was behind all the accomplishments they made, and were most keenly aware of their inadequacies, their mistakes, faults, infidelities, etc.
It’s not that they led a miserable life of having a dark outlook in life and a negative attitude toward their own selves. They were a happy lot, whose joy sprang from their living and faithful union with God, their father, but also aware of their total dependence on God.
It’s their driving love for God and souls that keep them feeling always the need for penance and conversion. It’s not just fear of sin and evil that provokes this hunger. It’s love of God and souls. It’s this love that made them see many things that they need to do.
It’s this love for God and souls that would make them feel that they have to go further than what so far they have accomplished. This love has no limits. It does not have the word ‘enough’ in its vocabulary. It always urges them to do more to be more and better.
That is why it is often given as a spiritual advice that one forgets himself completely and just thinks of God and the others. Not only that, but also that one’s true growth and development toward human maturity and Christian perfection is measured to the extent that one thinks of God and the others and does things for them.
Due to this love, they also sharply know that on their own, all they could do is evil, not good. St. Augustine said something to this effect. We are actually nothing without God. We simply would have no resistance against evil.
Our problem is that we often think that we can do good by our own selves, without the grace of God. We think that with our talents and good will alone, we can be and do good independently of God.
We easily forget the fact that all our talents and our capacity to have good will all come from God. Our problem is that we usurp the goodness and power of God, and make them simply as our own. This anomaly, done at the very fundamental level of our life, would have tremendous repercussions in all the other aspects of our life.
This is something we should try to avoid. I know it’s easy for us to fall to that predicament, and that’s precisely why we need to have continuing repentance and conversion. We should not go to bed at night without expressing some penance and reconciling ourselves with our Lord. We have to end the day always reunited with God!
Email: roycimagala@gmail.com
