‘Comparisons’

By Raoul Suarez

“Ang classmate mo to bala, nga labandera man lang na si nanay nya, ngaa taas pa ang grade nya sa imo? Nahatag na tanan gani sa imo tapos mas taas pa to iya grade nga wala-wala man to sila?”

Annie listened as her mother was berating her in front of the dinner table. The scolding was an earful; not that she isn’t used to it. It was the same old line. Always. She’s heard it a couple of times. It still hurts even so.

She was an only child. She was an achiever. She had tutors. She was always at the top of her class. This grading period, though, she only ranked third. It was unacceptable. It was a blow to her mother’s ego. Her mother would keep on telling her that she was bested by that laundrywoman’s son. How was that even possible? They were dirt poor. She had all the resources but she could not produce the grades. A week from now, the awarding ceremonies would commence. Her mother would have none of it.

Her father gave her the cold stare of disapproval and just told her to finish her food. He was a salaryman who worked day in and day out just to ensure that she got everything she needed. Her parents had big dreams for her. She should be a lawyer, an engineer, or a doctor. Not that she wanted to become any of those. It was already pre-planned. Annie liked photography. She liked music. She liked the arts. She liked writing and was the Editor-in-Chief of the school paper. Her parents would have none of that.

“Kay-uha pag-eskwela mo. Hatagi man dungog aton apelyido. Mga hobbies-hobbies kag passion mo indi ‘na ‘ya makwartahan. Mga sulat-sulat, pinta-pinta, kag kuha-kuha picture, mga wala na ya! Lain guid ‘ya nga may titulo ka. Ang tawo mataha gid na ‘ya sa imo!

Nobody really makes a lot of money out of that. That’s what her parents would say. A title was always necessary. They would rant on but they have never really achieved something stellar back when they were Annie’s age. They had to make amends. Some parents just do not know when to quit the act. It’s the same old routine. They take out their frustrations on their children. They treat them as tools for their own redemption. It should not be the case but we do not leave in an ideal world.

Annie had to ask her aunt, Mamang Lita, to attend the awarding so someone would pin her medal. She just made up excuses that her parents were busy and could not come during that day. She said that they had business to attend to. Aside from the bronze, Annie had other awards. Her parents would not settle for second place. They did not care about extra-curricular awards. It had no bearing to them. It’s too bad that she finished third. It was worse than being second. Her parents will not be attending the event. It was embarrassing for them. After all the money they spent on ensuring that Annie would excel, she failed them yet again.

Mamang Lita agreed to attend the ceremony. Her children were not overachievers like Annie, and she was always proud of her niece. She prepared a small “handa” in her house in honor of Annie’s achievements for this grading period. It has been a while since Mamang Lita attended a school ceremony. Her children are all done with school now. She prepared her best clothes and had it ready for the event. Annie’s cousins also decided to attend. They have always marvelled at how dedicated she was with her studies. They were not like Annie; her cousins were just contented with a passing grade and Mamang Lita never pushed them hard because she would always tell them that there are other things in life that are of greater importance aside from academics.

During the day of the awarding, Mamang Lita called Annie early in the morning and asked if she was ready. Annie picked up the phone after two rings and Mamang Lita delightedly talked to her. The excitement was filling the phone speakers.

“Ako na karon bahala, Inday. Mapagwapa guid ako ah. Talagsa man lang ini. Salamat kay ako pinili mo magtakod subong.”

Annie thanked her and told her that the ceremony would commence at 2 in the afternoon. Mamang Lita replied that she will come an hour before. It was settled.

It was already 2:30 in the afternoon. Mamang Lita sat uneasily in the monobloc chair provided for by the school to the guardians and parents of the awardees. Annie was not yet there. Their class would be called out next. Maybe she was busy. Mamang Lita sat there for an hour and thirty minutes just enjoying the show; not minding her phone. She then remembered to check it if there were messages from Annie and when she did, she found none.

When their section was called, Annie arrived just in time. Mamang Lita was a little worried but she breathed the sigh of relief when she saw Annie running towards her. They queued up and went to the stage together for the awarding. They stopped for a bit before leaving the stage for their pictures to be taken. After that, they decided to go home and rest a bit.

“Diretso ka na lang karon sa balay pagkatapos mo ilis, Inday. May gamay kita nga himos.”

Before they parted, Mamang Lita gave Annie a small envelope with bills on the inside. A token of appreciation. A small gift for what she has achieved. Annie thanked her aunt and kissed her goodbye. She said she would catch up for dinner later and had some things to do. Mamang Lita has always been kind to her; Annie was Mamang Lita’s favorite after all.

Nobody was home when Annie arrived. She didn’t care much. It happened most of the time. Her parents would fail to show up if she did not bring home the gold medal. They would be out with their friends. She only finished third. It would have been nice to get a higher grade but what’s done is done. Someone deserved it better than she did. She tried to brush it off and went to her aunt’s house for dinner. She was used to it anyway. It still hurts every time though.

It was already 10 in the evening and it was a little late, her cousins took her home. They had chit-chats inside the car and were laughing their hearts out. They had plenty of time to talk. Annie’s house was a couple of miles away. When they got there, the house was dark. Her parents still weren’t home yet. Annie smiled and got out of the car. Her cousins waited until she was settled. She turned on the lights after entering the house, then she went out for a bit and happily waved goodbye to them.

Tomorrow is going to be a weekend. It would be a nice time to relax and detach from the world. It was a stressful week after all. Annie sat on her bed and grabbed her phone. She sent Mamang Lita a text message.

“Salamat guid sa tanan, Auntie. Kapoy na guid ‘ko.”